TokisoM Writes

If I read another “study” looking at the state of why black people are not married or why black women are single or why black people are not keen on marrying across the colour line; I will hang myself with a shoe string! Is that all we are as black people; husbands and wives. Don’t get me wrong I love the idea of marriage and respect it and would also love to be part of the institution one day. BUT I don’t think that whether or not I get married or when I do get married or to whom I get married too should be a study of sorts. So some smart person figures out why I’m not married by the age of 30…so what?! How does this change the fact that there is global warming, or crime, or the constant rise of the petrol price. Are all the other races getting married at the "right" time and having the "right" amount of children? I wonder why are there not as many studies looking at our economical standing. Why are black people globally not inventing smart things like th...

This year taught me to appreciate and value myself so much. It was in this year that I learnt that Tokiso has that pure foolish silly love – And I am happy to know that I can love that deeply.  Bungee jumping crew! Great times! I lost friends and gained friends in this year. It was in this year that I put myself first and didn't feel guilty about it. It was in this year I finally accepted that I don’t fit in any particular box.  My partner in craziness! Thami Kwazi It was in this year that I accepted that not everyone will like me. It was in this year I learnt that things change when you least expect it and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.  It was in this year I believed it when I looked in the mirror and said I am beautiful – flaws and all. It was this year that I learnt to loosen up a bit and accept that I cannot be perfect at everything. It was this year that I learnt the art of actually having a proper budget....

We are love!  Love should lead the way  Without love we are lost souls,  angry souls,  misguided souls.  Let love be the guide to how we listen,  how we speak,  how we respond,  how we get angry,  how we complain. If love be the foundation of our existence we will not go wrong!  Power to love and all it’s energies.  Love! P.S I love writing little notes; in my daily planner, note book, pieces of paper - just to capture a moment I'm in. This note was written on 11 April 2011, it was a Monday morning! I was emotionally crippled and soon as I penned this - I had a lovely, productive day. Such is my life! 

WordNSound Poetry Festival is where my beautiful self is tomorrow, 26 November. This festival for me is not just about the awesome line-up but it can forever be used as one of those moments that teaches people what happens when you are; patient, persistent and hard working. The first Wordnsound poetry and music series I attended was held in the small studio’s at the back of Baseline in Newtown, Jozi. My sole reason for going was because my poetry crush Kojo Baffoe was the poetry ‘elder’ for the day. How it worked was that icons in the poetry scene, like your Baffoes, Lebo Mashile, Kgafela oa Magogodi and Myesha Jenkins would do a performance and young aspirant poets would be given a chance to ask questions and interact with the elders. Where it all began! Blast doing his thing! The venue was small and the setting very intimate with people even sitting on the floor. The open-mic session was not so great and it was the last item on the programme. Me, being the Diva I am,...

I love road trips, site seeing and big cars. And thanks to Ford I had all of that in one day. Ford invited a bunch of journalist to test drive their new Ford Ranger on the beautiful terrains of Mpumalanga. We got off our chartered plane, short introductions, were given keys and the driving began. Luckily my driving partner Katleho Khoaele from Move! magazine was not keen on driving much so guess who was in control most of the time. *big smile* The first Ranger we drove was the Wildtrack double cab, which is their special-edition 3.2-litre with 18-inch wheels, heated leather seats with eight electric adjustments and rain-sensing wipers. The flashy orange paint job with silver exterior bling made it feel it was specially made for my sexy crazy self. I felt so in charge. I’ll be honest I was a bit worried that the car would over-whelm my driving skills but it didn’t. When you are inside the Ranger you forget about its size and it feels like you are in a Sudan. T...

I smile a real smile The type of smile that is rare to find in this life we live This smile comes from deep inside This smile was hidden from the dangers of pain and heartache I smile because it feels right I am happy to be alive I am happy to be here I smile a real smile It is not the smile of pretence It has no motive of any thing I am not smiling for you I am not smiling for them This smile is mine It is a smile of true inner joy I smile a real smile I smile because I understand that tomorrow this smile could be gone I smile because I can I smile because I am poor and my smile is all I have I smile because I am lonely and my smile keeps me company I smile because I am hungry and my smile fills me up I smile because I am sick and my smile is my medicine I smile a real smile Oh this smile of mine It brightens my face This smile is wider in my mind and soul It is a personal smile You might see it You might feel it And it might just be invincible to your material eye Lest we forget it i...

The Tokiso I am today is all thanks to her strength, patience and bucket loads of love. Her resilience to keep moving even when life said STOP. When God took the time to create me, I was not only blessed with her beauty but with her elegance, grace and strength.   She is not only my mother (and father), she is my sister, bestfriend and confidant! Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother.  ~Oprah Winfrey Her name is Mmagauta; it means Mother of Gold...(Gold = Tokiso...get it) lol I love this woman to bits and pieces!!!

Imagine your mother tells you she has cancer and a few months to live. You are on the other side of the world and there is nothing you can do about it. You worry about your father and wonder how he is going to cope. The illness and death of a mother hangs in the air but the focus is on the father - typical of the patriarchal society we live in!  PHOTO: Ruphin Coudyzer,  Thanks to Market Theatre   Expect all that and more in Death of a Colonialist at the Market Theatre (on until16 October 2011). Jamie Bartlett of ETV’s Rhythm City (David Genero) does an amazing job of keeping me glued to his crazy antics as Harold Smith, the not so normal father and husband. Set in Grahamstown, Harold is a passionate history teacher who gets too excited when teaching the history of amaXhosa. He lives with his very supporting wife and has two children living in Australia and Canada (ran away from S.A bec...

“Can someone please explain fake eye-lashes (or weaves, nails, make-up)?” Unless the owner of this question is planning on trying out the above mentioned items this shouldn't be a conversation. Actually it baffles me that it’s still a conversation – especially between us black women. The argument usually touches on taking pride in your African identity and loving yourself as God made you…blah blah blah! Usually those starting the conversation are rocking the natural look. And probably said person is educated or well read or well travelled or well…who cares what their credentials are. Ain't easy to maintain it like this!!! Like I said it baffles me that women in weaves, make-up, eye-lashes and nails are under attack. Being a black woman is hard enough already! As women we need to start having progressive conversations such as; buying property, starting companies, studying further, aiming for promotions, investments…etc. What I put on my head, fake or not, doesn't cha...

Yes I mean that exactly; you are replaceable! I read in shock Jay Naiidoo’s column in the Sunday Times recently, titled ‘Cracks are showing’. It was a piece talking about South Africa ’s youth being restless too, considering the revolts happening in north Africa and the Middle East . He states “Fifty-two percent of our population are under the age of 25, and conservative estimates tell us half of them are unemployed.” Fact is I’m under 25 and one of the few blessed with employment. Not yet permanent but working in the field I studied in, and when my contract ends I will have work experience and skills that come with having a job. Basically I will have increased my employability. With so many people unemployed it means that should I mess up my current opportunity, someone out there is ready to grab that opportunity. Just like that, my desk can be filled. This brings me back to the title of my blog: “You are replaceable”. Simply just waking up, going to work, doing what’s required and...

I am constantly at war with right and wrong. Doing and saying what is right according to ME is the toughest thing on earth. I am filled with doubt and questions. I can see that not everything fits like a glove as it should. I keep wondering if I am putting myself in a position where I am allowing myself to be a play thing. But yet a part of me wants to not think about it. Emotions aside, the question is “what's in it for me?” Well thus far a lot. But this transaction is becoming a bit of a burden. There comes a time when you have to cut your losses but when is that time. I am patiently waiting for life to happen. I hate suffering. My creator did not place me in this world to suffer. I am meant to shine like a star and touch the sky. I am meant for greatness, I am meant to see the world and not get caught up in societies expectations of how to do things. I am meant soar like an eagle and worry about those other things way later in life, if I ever do. I am patiently waiting for life ...