TokisoM Writes

The Reactive by Masande Ntshanga gives you a front row seat of the effects of self-inflicted guilt. Photographer: Tokiso Molefe Opening line: “Ten years ago, I helped a handful of men take my little brother’s life”. My thoughts when I read this ranged from, “did you hate your brother”, “were you a messed up druggie”. What follows is a story of a young man who is infested with guilt about a decision he made but honestly – he didn’t kill his brother. The circumstances that lead to his brother’s death haunt him for a long time. He even infects himself with HIV to punish himself. There are so many “oh wow, he did that” moments in the book. The book also plays on the theme that “birds of a feather stick together” – his friends Ruan and Cecelia are as disturbed as he is. One cannot understand what their goals and ambitions in life are. I had actually convinced myself that the book would end with some, ‘assisted suicide’ mission. That’s how troubled these young people are. ...

I’ve been sitting on this review on Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead by SherylSandberg , the chief operating officer of Facebook. I found myself in conflict with her message vs reality. I fully agreed that we, women, needed to make a conscious effort to be heard, lead and mentor. Her message was spot-on and encouraging. My concern though was with putting to practice Lean In in reality. I’m a young highly ambitious women and ever since I started my career journey I’ve gone from a starry-eyed-goals-slayer to ‘is this really worth it’. Lean In, and many books, like it fail to cover the brutal struggle that comes with leaning in. Unfortunately what I’ve witnessed as a young ambitious career women is that for women to actually really lean in – they must prepare for war. They must prepare to be pulled down by those older than them, fellow females and threatened males.  I’ve witnessed women who ‘lean in’ in the work place needing to be tough against all thes...