TokisoM Writes

“I’m not one to judge other genres of music. Everybody must be given the space to do their thing. I don’t expect you to sing to Zabalaza at 4am at a party” – said Thandiswa Mazwai to an audience member when asked her thoughts about the current state of Kwaito. My admiration for Thandiswa grew at that very moment. She clearly has no higher than thou attitude about her music. I believe more people need to learn that kind of attitude. You may like your music, books, movies or whatever but don’t raise your nose at people with a different taste to yours. Do you and let others do themselves. This type of intimate session was the first of many hosted by Thandiswa’s younger sister Ntsiki Mazwai. Called Mama Said Sessions, they are hosted every last Sunday of the month at Roodepoort Theatre, West of Johannesburg. The sessions include dialogue with established artists, poetry, a live band and open mic. Ntsiki invited her sister and the legendary Dorothy Masuku. What an amazing...

“If you don’t like something change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude” – Maya Angelou. A profound quote by Maya Angelou; it’s one that speaks to me now in my life more than ever. The three part blog titled “ We live We learn ” was me trying to explore the uncomfortable feelings of life not going as planned.  Although one wants to play tough and act like we got things under control when in actual fact all sorts of emotions are boiling inside of us. A full day has, day and night – therefore a full human cycle has the good and bad. My biggest challenge is accepting that things don’t always go as planned - accepting the bad. I've always followed a plan and for a good part of my life that plan always worked out. But recently I see plans not becoming a reality – as and when I want them to be. I’m letting go. After reading an article in Essence magazine I was comforted in knowing that I’m not the only person who experiences a bit of a life frus...

The art of frustration! Yeah I’m still trying to understand these undesirable emotions that are present in our lives…okay let me say my life. I’d really like to convince myself until I believe it that I’m the most positive person I know but life has a funny way of testing titles we place on our selves. The year began and I had beautiful quotes about the “positivity of life” dripping from my tongue. This was the status quo until it was put to the test; from family to work to friendships…everything. I was hit and probably still hit by a hurricane: rough times of note. My life boat rocked so hard waking up in the morning was damn near impossible. Going to work and performing felt like punishment from the devil himself. Living was hard labour. It’s during these times you notice that you are putting in so much into everything but the returns are not adding up. But Winston Churchill said it well, “If you are going through hell; keep going”. I’m not going to give you the ‘So...

The art of forgiveness! That’s what I think it is. In theory it sounds so easy to do. People go around sounding sophisticated saying things like “Forgive and you will feel lighter.” So for a while I tried that sophisticated stuff saying I’d forgiven Person who had caused me pain. Well that’s until I hear Person is going through some form of hardship. Sophistication was thrown out the window and I did a dance at their pain. “SUFFER!!” I said.  But when the high from sweet revenge left my system and reality sobered me up I realised that I was no where near that place called Forgive-ville. Instead I was still having dinner at Angry-ville. I was and still am an angry woman. You can’t claim to have forgiven someone when you are ready to throw a party just because Person has come across some form of sting. I’m all for letting go and forgiving but doing it…is something else.  So how does one do it? Forgive. I mean really forgive to a point where if you were t...

I love driving. Any opportunity to learn new skills about holding my own behind the wheel I grab. FORD yet again invited a bunch of crazy curious journalists on their Driving Skills for Life course. It was a full day of activity but also some pointers that I was not aware of. I learnt:            The quicker I get to the highest gear possible the more fuel I save. From second gear to third gear you use 31% less fuel. From third gear to fourth gear you use 15% less fuel and from fourth to fifth you are at 17% less. Basically by the time you reach 50km/h you should be on 5 th gear.          Drive relaxed by anticipating traffic situations. When I leave the house I check out Pig Spotters tweets, Traffic SA’s tweets and listen to traffic reports on the radio. But I’m always expecting traffic after the Malibongwe bridge heading north on the N1. That part of the high-way has been bewitched long time ago.   ...

If I read another “study” looking at the state of why black people are not married or why black women are single or why black people are not keen on marrying across the colour line; I will hang myself with a shoe string! Is that all we are as black people; husbands and wives. Don’t get me wrong I love the idea of marriage and respect it and would also love to be part of the institution one day. BUT I don’t think that whether or not I get married or when I do get married or to whom I get married too should be a study of sorts. So some smart person figures out why I’m not married by the age of 30…so what?! How does this change the fact that there is global warming, or crime, or the constant rise of the petrol price. Are all the other races getting married at the "right" time and having the "right" amount of children? I wonder why are there not as many studies looking at our economical standing. Why are black people globally not inventing smart things like th...

This year taught me to appreciate and value myself so much. It was in this year that I learnt that Tokiso has that pure foolish silly love – And I am happy to know that I can love that deeply.  Bungee jumping crew! Great times! I lost friends and gained friends in this year. It was in this year that I put myself first and didn't feel guilty about it. It was in this year I finally accepted that I don’t fit in any particular box.  My partner in craziness! Thami Kwazi It was in this year that I accepted that not everyone will like me. It was in this year I learnt that things change when you least expect it and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.  It was in this year I believed it when I looked in the mirror and said I am beautiful – flaws and all. It was this year that I learnt to loosen up a bit and accept that I cannot be perfect at everything. It was this year that I learnt the art of actually having a proper budget....