Skip to main content

I want that power-house type of love!

Is that too much to ask for: to have a house with two bulls running the show. There is a thinking that women should know their place (be submissive) and men are taught to run the place (bread-winners).  But times have changed.

Men and women have dreams, and everybody is fighting to make their dreams a reality.

Because of my energy…I’d love a man with a similar kind of drive and most importantly respect and support for my hustle.

I want a man who, when I bring work home, will make me that cup of coffee he knows I live on; a man who will read my work and give me constructive criticism, a man who will not only ask how my day was for the sake of it but genuinely care to know.

I want a man who understands if I’m happy making my dreams come true, he too will be happy. He must have dreams and I want to offer him the same kind of support that I’ll be getting.

The older I get I see my peers pack their dreams into a suitcase, forget about them and focus on motherhood and being wives (the few that do get married).  As happy as I am for them, I wonder; will they not one day resent their husbands or kids because they did a swap.

From what I've seen and heard; mothering little people is not easy, and the same can be said about maintaining a marriage. The naïve girl that still lives in me wants to believe that with the right amount of support - marriage and motherhood don’t have to be the end of the hustle.

Instead I’d love to believe that with the right amount of support – married women or those in serious relationships should have a greater drive to make their dreams come true. The reason being; they are not only doing it for themselves but for the magical creature that has supported their dreams and ambitions.

As I write this I’m thinking of Beyonce and Jay-Z, the Obamas and many other couples I've interviewed for True Love Magazine's now defunct “Black Love” page.

Right now it feels like this kind of support is the exception and not the norm…it should be the norm! I know this kind of love exists. And I will one day teach my daughter about it.

I’ll teach her that it starts with her! Don’t ask from someone that which you can’t do yourself! Don’t ask for support if you don’t give any. Don’t ask for wealth if you don’t have it. Don’t ask for loyalty if you can’t be loyal. Don’t ask for honesty if you yourself can’t tell the truth! If you want that power-house kind of love – be a power-house on your own.

Focus on your personal journey. Forget finding someone to complete you – attract a man who will compliment you!


Image from: http://globalgrind.com/

Image from: thezooom.com



Comments

  1. You have just wowed me. I want that kind of love too.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you for reading X! Lets be that kind of love, attract that kind of love and nourish that kind of love!

    ReplyDelete
  3. WOW I love this piece I don't want to pack my dreams in a suitcase because of marriage or children, I want to achieve all of them and be a powerhouse.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Nice one Tokiso. We live in a world where women constantly have to fight for gender equity. Keep on inspiring others! Much love...I'll bookmark your blog. Kindly read mine as well...http://native-space.blogspot.com.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. oh I just checked out your blog! Read one line and got excited. :-) Thank you for reading mine. You rock!

      Delete
  5. that is the reason i am still single, i cant find a man who understands my drive to want to succeed , to push boundaries...

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Curious Case of Pinky Pinky: The Toilet Tokoloshe

There was once a Tokoloshe, her name was Pinky Pinky – she lived in the girls’ school toilets, sang a song that introduced her and told you about her parents. She’d then end the song by demanding you give her something. Thanks to Pinky Pinky, her choice of location and her singing – I've yet to feel completely comfortable using public toilets. I first heard about Pinky Pinky when I was in Sub A (now known as Grade 1). She terrorized girls my age, demanding money or (as I recently heard) stole their panties. I think she’d also want whatever pink item you had on you. If you couldn't give in to Pinky Pinky’s demands – you were in big trouble. I don’t remember the details of what she’d do to you but what I knew is that it would be painful. Pinky Pinky was so dangerous she even made it into a national newspaper – although they used a blurry picture. There were different stories told about how she looked – none mentioned a beautiful creature. Her looks were things horror mo...

Book Review: London, Cape Town, Joburg

What a miserable ending to a really soul capturing novel! London, Cape Town, Joburg by ZukiswaWanner had me hooked from day one but I must say, I was never really ready for that ending – plot twist of note. To be fair, the story starts with two parents mourning their only son who had committed suicide. From the onset you know that something really bad must have happened for a thirteen-year-old to kill himself but before the author lets us in on the reason, she takes us through one of the best, heart-warming, authentic love stories I have read in a while. Martin O’Malley and Germaine Spencer, are two imperfect people who come together and build what seems like a perfect nest. They understand each other, defend each other, fight, make up, have loads of sex and most importantly love and respect one another. I loved every moment of their love story. From the insecurities, jealous moments, moving from city to city and how they grew into such cool, yet strict parents. Wanner t...

A Tribute to Juby Mayet – by Mmagauta Molefe

A tribute lunch dedicated to Juby Mayet was hosted at the SABC in Johannesburg on April 23. Mmagauta Molefe, a comrade and fellow detainee shared this speed at the event. Juby Mayet (L), Mmagauta Mlefe (R) Activists, religious leaders, organisations, journalist, trade unionist and others in the 70’s were united under the banner of Black Consciousness, the movement that came up to occupy the empty political space left by the banning of the PAC and ANC. This collective became targets of the apartheid regime, they were raided, harassed, banned, detained and even murdered. A number of you here, including Juby Mayet, are survivors of that era. The fear instilled in the then system by the BC led 1976 June 16 uprisings and the organised action that was to happen against the establishment of the homeland Bophutatswana – led to the arrests and banning of various BC connected people, newspapers and organisations in 1977. A day now called Media Freedom day by this regime; I beli...