Dear Black Women

Please let’s unlearn the idea that we don’t like each other! We do like each other. We love each other. We want the best for each other. But the world would rather have us hating each other because if we worked together we’d be a force so powerful, many would bow at our feet.

It’s easier to have us hate each other. They whisper in our ears to hate each other for random things that don’t make a difference. Ask yourself this; why do you feel the need to spend so much energy debating what happens on another woman’s head. So, she likes weaves – why does this bother you so much. If her hair was any different would you like that person more?

Why do you feel the need to spend hours discussing that another woman loves applying make-up? Do you buy her make-up? Do you have to help her apply it on her face? Why is her face an issue in your life?

And this also goes with someone’s success, choice of lovers, love for fashion and whatever else. Why are we obsessed with what goes on in another woman’s life. Do we place the same concern when they are going through a hard time?

Do we spend hours discussing how we can make another sister’s hard times easier? Do we plan the visits? Do we put together funds to assist where we know that a single mother’s salary won’t cover the monthly costs?

Imagine how life would be different if men knew that we have each other’s backs. If together as women we said; no to abuse, no to rape, no to cheating, no more cat fights for men. Imagine if we got together and started companies, formed political parties - basically changed the world!

I think it’s possible if we allow it. My support system is mostly women. I was raised by powerful women. My girlfriends are inspirational. I purposely aim to find greatness in all women I meet. 

We are human and we’ll never be perfect. We need to stop blaming someone for being “a woman” as the reason we don’t like them. There are other reasons that cause a dislike for someone - their gender can't be IT!

Let’s be nicer to each other, caring and stop with the hating for no reason. We please the whisperers every time we hate on another woman because they are prettier, too sexy, too fat, too thin, has natural hair, has fake hair, loves fashion, is tomboyish…see where I’m going with this.

Let’s challenge ourselves to have better and richer conversations. Let’s even judge each other on a higher level. This petty hatred we are always airing in public is embarrassing!

And most of all, let’s love each other!

Yours Sincerely,

Tokiso Masechaba Molefe!