Skip to main content

Sometimes I wonder…


Sometimes I wonder how life would have been if my absent father was a present one…

Would I have a better understanding of gender roles in society?
Would I trust men?
Would I have more faith in people?

Sometimes I wonder how I would have turned out if he cared…

Would I be less hard on myself?
Would I judge less?
Would my hunger for a better life be less aggressive?

Sometimes I wonder where I’d be if he helped financially...

Would I have gone further with my studies?
Would I have gone to a better high-school and gotten better opportunities?
Would I view the world any different to what I do now?

Sometimes I wonder what would happen if he called…

Would my heart skip a beat at the sound of his voice?
Would I call him ‘daddy’?
Would I be happy?

I've stopped wondering!
I’ve accepted my reality; I just pray that should I have a child…
They don’t wonder…

Labels:

Comments

  1. VuvuQ21 May 2012 at 09:32

    This is so well written and I think a lot of people can relate to this. I, for one, know exactly what you're taking about. If my absent father was around; would I be Daddy's Little angel? I don't know because he didn't care enough to stick around and give me a chance to choose. Thank you for sharing, it shows people like me that we aren't alone in our thoughts nor are we to blame for their actions.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous8 August 2012 at 22:59

    True vuvuQ I too can relate to this. I often wonder as well what I would do if he called, would I call him dad. Would I even be happy

    ReplyDelete
  3. Unknown25 April 2013 at 02:39

    I can relate to this post personally because I used to think about this issue till i cried. I have forgiven him and i hope my children will not have to travel through that same road.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Unknown2 May 2013 at 16:25

    Tears roll down my eyes, i also wonder even though i dont think that i care to wonder. I also wish and pray that i dont have a kid who will wonder.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Porsy1 November 2013 at 16:20

    i wondered until a friend told me
    1. accept
    2.label
    3.move on
    accept and label him for who he is and what he did and move on.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Curious Case of Pinky Pinky: The Toilet Tokoloshe

There was once a Tokoloshe, her name was Pinky Pinky – she lived in the girls’ school toilets, sang a song that introduced her and told you about her parents. She’d then end the song by demanding you give her something. Thanks to Pinky Pinky, her choice of location and her singing – I've yet to feel completely comfortable using public toilets. I first heard about Pinky Pinky when I was in Sub A (now known as Grade 1). She terrorized girls my age, demanding money or (as I recently heard) stole their panties. I think she’d also want whatever pink item you had on you. If you couldn't give in to Pinky Pinky’s demands – you were in big trouble. I don’t remember the details of what she’d do to you but what I knew is that it would be painful. Pinky Pinky was so dangerous she even made it into a national newspaper – although they used a blurry picture. There were different stories told about how she looked – none mentioned a beautiful creature. Her looks were things horror mo...
23 comments
Read more

Book Review: Are You David or Goliath?

Ever stopped yourself from working on a dream because you thought you were not ready or it was too big for you to put together? We sometime convince ourselves that we are not skilled, educated or experienced enough to attempt going after ideas or opportunities close to our hearts.  Malcolm Gladwell , addresses this very mind-set in his book, David and Goliath, Underdogs, Misfits and the Art of Battling Giants .  Throughout the book references the lives of game changers to make the point that we can be who or what we want to be – or at least try, regardless of our so-called weaknesses. As I read this book I recalled many times in my life that I backed down on an opportunity because I believed it was meant for someone from a better school, a higher education or more experience. In those moments I discounted the fact that I was passionate about those subjects or would enjoy the challenge of learning about a field I was curious about. “The powerful and the stro...
Post a Comment
Read more

Book Review: Influence

Influencer marketing continues to grow in momentum around the world and has become a key factor of many marketing plans. We continue to see it evolve with the introduction of new platforms and the death of some. Influence by Sara McCorquodale is a great read on how social media influencers are shaping the marketing space. Although mostly focused on the UK and US market - I believe the insights shared of misunderstood space are without borders. McCorquodale's book includes definitions, early adaptors, new age influencers, issues and a look at the future. Depending where your region is in terms of adopting different platforms - the trends are mostly the same. Therefore I found this book relatable in many aspects. The book begins with trying to define what an influencer is. There is a lot of confusion as how to who are influencers and what they do. There have been a discussions were people with high number of fans have not been able to sell t-shirts, or an example used in this book, ...
Post a Comment
Read more