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Sometimes I wonder…


Sometimes I wonder how life would have been if my absent father was a present one…

Would I have a better understanding of gender roles in society?
Would I trust men?
Would I have more faith in people?

Sometimes I wonder how I would have turned out if he cared…

Would I be less hard on myself?
Would I judge less?
Would my hunger for a better life be less aggressive?

Sometimes I wonder where I’d be if he helped financially...

Would I have gone further with my studies?
Would I have gone to a better high-school and gotten better opportunities?
Would I view the world any different to what I do now?

Sometimes I wonder what would happen if he called…

Would my heart skip a beat at the sound of his voice?
Would I call him ‘daddy’?
Would I be happy?

I've stopped wondering!
I’ve accepted my reality; I just pray that should I have a child…
They don’t wonder…

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Comments

  1. VuvuQ21 May 2012 at 09:32

    This is so well written and I think a lot of people can relate to this. I, for one, know exactly what you're taking about. If my absent father was around; would I be Daddy's Little angel? I don't know because he didn't care enough to stick around and give me a chance to choose. Thank you for sharing, it shows people like me that we aren't alone in our thoughts nor are we to blame for their actions.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous8 August 2012 at 22:59

    True vuvuQ I too can relate to this. I often wonder as well what I would do if he called, would I call him dad. Would I even be happy

    ReplyDelete
  3. Unknown25 April 2013 at 02:39

    I can relate to this post personally because I used to think about this issue till i cried. I have forgiven him and i hope my children will not have to travel through that same road.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Unknown2 May 2013 at 16:25

    Tears roll down my eyes, i also wonder even though i dont think that i care to wonder. I also wish and pray that i dont have a kid who will wonder.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Porsy1 November 2013 at 16:20

    i wondered until a friend told me
    1. accept
    2.label
    3.move on
    accept and label him for who he is and what he did and move on.

    ReplyDelete

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