TokisoM Writes

Eighty Days Red by Vina Jackson is as cheesy as cheesy gets. The cover image, legs in grey stockings, gives the impression that what’s inside is chapter after chapter of hot 'read-on-your-own' moments between the characters. Instead this felt like something out of Bold and The Beautiful – with a bit more drama. Erotica is not my usual kind of read but when a friend bought me Eighty Days Red; I thought this would be a great intro to the genre. Yes, I didn’t read any of the Shades of Grey. Eighty Days is a trilogy, a series that follows the love story of Summer and Dominik. The other two are Eighty Days Yellow and Eighty Days Blue.You can read the third one and you won’t feel like you’ve missed out on the drama from the past. Simply put; they are a couple who have an on and off relationship and in the third book they have broken up but end up in each other’s arms. The story is depressingly predictable. I finished the book because for some odd reason I thought it would ...

Random question, I know, but it is a thought that I've had for a while now. When Facebook changed its interface and introduced the timeline – I was able to check out my Facebook presence from the day I signed up!  It was rather creepy looking at my life on display like that – from falling in love, heart-break, lonely days, angry times and drunken status updates. All I know is I deleted a lot of posts and have since limited how much of myself I put on Facebook [a year break from the social network platform also helped]. Anyway back to “Are you what you tweet”. Twitter is a bit of different ball game – with 140 characters – it has proved to be an easier platform to share snippets of thought. I'm way too lazy to check out my tweets from when I started [I'm at 17 000 plus tweets].  But I can tell you now that I've started playing it very safe on the network. Most recent stats report that there are 5.5 Million active South African users. Of that 5.5 Million a...

Ever played out a moment in your life over and over again in your head – trying to make sense of the situation, looking for blame, trying to figure out where things could have changed? How many answers did you get? Would they have changed things for the best? How sure are you of this? Some things are not meant to make sense! That’s what I've decided and it grants me sanity – especially in situations that brought some form of pain – a suffering. We don’t usually question happy times but we question the bad. We ask why me, what did I do wrong, was I not good enough, did I not give it my all… Meditating on the past and the ‘what could have been’ of life is not healthy. We breathe life into the past, we keep the hurt alive, we keep it fresh – at some point we must accept and move on. I’d love to have all the answers to all my pains, my struggles and things that just fell apart without warning – but the fact of the matter is, some questions are best left unanswered. ...

Beauty pageants remain a stepping stone for many young women. Rethabile Kolobe, from the Vaal, has ambition to make the most of this platform and she is on a roll starting with her current crown as Miss Vaal 2013. Rethabile is a second year Law student at North West University (Vaal Campus). She is an example to her peers that hard work and dedication help make your dreams come true. From a young age, Rethabile has always been interested in pageants. "It has always been a dream for me do take part in such a pageant and even bigger," said Rethabile. The courage to enter pageants comes with preparation and Rethabile groomed herself until she felt she was ready to enter this very competitive environment. "The journey to Miss Vaal was also accompanied by much preparation in the sense that my mind and my body had to be in the right place. I try to be well rounded; read and keep up with current affair." Winning Miss Vaal is not the end but the ...

“It takes one worm to destroy an apple” – Johnny [Tony Kgoroge] the travelling sales man. The Cast Nongogo, written by Athol Fugard, directed by James Ngcobo – is on at the Market Theatre for a limited season. Set in the 1950s in Queenie’s Shebeen – it is a remarkable tale of love that almost was. Queenie [Masasa Mbangeni] accepted Johnny with his not so pleasant history and a wallet full of dreams – nice way of saying he didn't have money. She opened her home (Shebeen at night), heart and supported his dreams. But when he finds out what she is a reformed hooker – he is disgusted.  What matters most; your mistakes or the person you are trying to be? We all have followed different paths to get to our current positions – some paths were not paved in good decisions – but we live. Why would someone then treat you like a leper because of your history? It’s weird this relationship thing – as in Queenie’s case. It is evident that Blackie [Desmond Dube] loves her ...

We get so caught in pleasing people we deny ourselves the pleasure of pleasing ourselves first! Yes! The pleasure!  I've recently rediscovered myself after spending too much time walking on egg-shells making sure everybody else is happy around me. It is so exhausting!  I was always tired. But now, it's all me! Maybe it's growing up but I'm loving this phase. I feel no need to walk on egg shells for the others. Those that love me - will love me, flaws and all.  I'm learning and unlearning so many things right now. I'm changing my mind and rethinking old teachings. I feel like I'm meeting myself all over again.  I've taken up yoga, pilates and started road running again. My career is going through changes. I'm listening to new music and playing old favourites. I'm reconnecting with friends and making new friends. And all this at a pace I'm loving. No rush. No competition.  I got nothing to prove. I have nothing to explain. ...

It’s been 27-years since one of the giants of South African theatre, Mbongeni Ngema, got on stage –as an actor. For an intense one-hour thirty minutes Ngema uses the beauty and power of story-telling to take us back in time when Zulu warriors, Impi, were a force to be reckoned with. He tells the audience about the legendary Shaka Zulu – from when he was a little boy, until he was a grown man to be assassinated; betrayed by his brothers and bodyguard. It is a well recorded history that Shaka Zulu built a powerful empire and this great African nation has tried to keep afloat within the melting pot of globalisation. The most intriguing part of the story is the main attraction; The Great Battle of Isandlwana (1879) – the greatest victory over the Colonial forces on African Soil. The strategy behind this great battle is intriguing and Ngema really gets the imagination rolling as he describes in great detail how it all happened.   But to bring it closer to home – I was ...

How much time do you spend knocking another person’s hustle? And I use the term hustle as meaning their drive and push to reach their desired goal.  Many of us, I’d hope, wake up with a goal in mind – we work towards something bigger than the daily grind. Some of us do it the conventional way of a regular nine to five, others have more than one job and others are pushing their God given talents to do what makes them happy.  We don’t have the same method, we don’t share the same goals and chances are what is “right” and “proper” to you won’t be the same for the next person. How much time do you spend knocking another person’s hustle?  Is your constant banter pointing out that someone is fake, unrealistic, “they’ll fall soon” or whatever it is you think proves your argument – making a difference in the world?  Unless you are whistle-blowing illegal activities or saving someone you love from a con-artist; what purpose does you negativity se...

Powerful Woman “Why is it that the men are always forgiven and the women aren't” – asked a disheartened Toni Braxton in her song, Talking in His Sleep . That’s the question I asked myself when I finished reading Winnie Mandela A Life by Anné Mariè du Preez Bezdrob . Winnie Mandela’s life story is the perfect example that you can swallow barb wire for your man but as soon as he feels you don’t fit in the greater scheme of things – you are out. You are lucky if you get a thank you. Winnie Mandela gave up so much for this nation and for her husband but when he got out of prison – what did he do… If she could endure all the police brutality, being banished to an out of reach town in the Free State, prison and raising their children on a shoe-string budget – he could have made it work. Winnie and Nelson Mandela would've been the greatest love story ever – just imagine if they were still together. “I had so little time to love him, and that love has survived al...

Great Book Che Guevara was powerful, charming, knowledgeable and a fighter, mentally and physically. TheStory of Che Guevara is a well written book about one of history’s greatest game-changers. The author, Lucia Alvarez De Toledo , researched Guevara’s life for fifteen years – before she wrote this biography. Her writing credentials include her translated and edited work of Guevara’s father’s memoir of his son, The Young Che , as well as Che’s own Bolivian Diary , and she translated Travelling with Che Guevara by AlbertoGranado .  Toledo paints Guevara as charming, smart and charismatic. It’s hard not to fall in love with Che once you reach the end of his thrilling life. Che’s story is told from when he was born on 14 June 1928 until his death on 9 October 1967. Famous for his role in the Cuban Revolution it is fascinating to learn that Che was not Cuban. Another interesting fact is that Che, as he is famously known, is a nick name he got from his comrades while ...

I know how we'll meet, chat and share a sentiment over a pot of tea. I know how we'll kiss and tell our tales and adventures. I know how you look, walk, smell and laugh. I know your smile, your tears and pain. I know the next chapter in your life, the new colours and new habits you'll adopt, the new love notes; I miss you, I love you.  And no we didn't rush into this.  I know your first thought in the morning and your last. I know that when God gives you to me and me to you... I know it will be us with a new beginning and happy forever after I know to have patience, because you are worth the wait, and I don't lose patience with each rising of the sun and the setting of the same. Instead I am happy because I know I'm one day closer to being with you. "This is why I've been single, but at least I've drafted my letter to my Queen" Sizwe Mkhize: @CSayTweets or Sizwe Mkhize on Face Book! 

What kind of relationship do you have with your money? Nice Girls Don’t Get Rich – 75 Avoidable Mistakes Women Make With Money by Lois P.Frankel is a book about financial thinking and not financial planning. I had to get that out before you think that this a quick guide to wealth – something we all know doesn't exist. “This book is dedicated to every woman who works too hard, earns too little, and never seems to get ahead financially”. That dedication line from the author caught my attention because it is a story most of us share. We have the careers, look the part, live the life but we don’t see ourselves moving ahead financially at the pace we would love to. I picked up this book: Nice Girls Don’t Get Rich because of two words on the cover “rich” and “mistakes”.  From what’s written on the cover I figured that she meant we can get rich from what we have but we make mistakes with it. That caught my attention because I’d rather be told how to make the most with wh...

*Black Humour : “ humour that deals with unpleasant aspects of life in a bitter or ironic way” Thanks to the Market Theatre for the Pic Oh what a show! Set in a South African prison during Apartheid; five prisoners tell us how they ended up behind bars. One man stutters, another believes that he was falsely accused, another was back-stabbed by a cousin, another idolized a con man and another had an affair with his employer's wife. While watching the multi-awards winning South African classic play, Asinamali, I experienced a bitter/sweet moment. The sweet was all the laughing I was doing; the bitter was the fact that Apartheid was a dehumanising cruel system. Thanks to the Market Theatre for the Pic Written by the legendary Mbongeni Ngema , Asinamali was inspired by the 1983 rent strike in Lamontville Township, KwaZulu-Natal. Led by activist Msizi Dube the people of Lamontville wanted the government to know “we do not have money” ( Asinamali ) when rent was increas...

Herman Mashaba’s story is a well written anecdote about a man who wanted to be more and worked hard to make his dreams a reality! Coming from a small village in Gauteng, born in the time when being black was a crime – Herman Mashaba defied the odds, set his own goals and worked hard to reach them. Do you have faith in your dreams? Do you have faith in your capabilities? How far will you go to reach the standard of success you've set for yourself? Those were the burning questions I walked away with after reading Herman Mashaba’s autobiography Black Like You, co-written with Isabella Morris. Pic sourced from:  http://blacklikeyou.co.za/ He is one of South Africa’s inspirational success stories. If there is someone who could have used any excuse under the sun to avoid working hard and settle for a life of mediocrity, Herman Mashaba is that man. He lost his father when he was very young, his mother struggled to raise him and his siblings on her domestic-worker...

Please let’s unlearn the idea that we don’t like each other! We do like each other. We love each other. We want the best for each other. But the world would rather have us hating each other because if we worked together we’d be a force so powerful, many would bow at our feet. It’s easier to have us hate each other. They whisper in our ears to hate each other for random things that don’t make a difference. Ask yourself this; why do you feel the need to spend so much energy debating what happens on another woman’s head. So, she likes weaves – why does this bother you so much. If her hair was any different would you like that person more? Why do you feel the need to spend hours discussing that another woman loves applying make-up? Do you buy her make-up? Do you have to help her apply it on her face? Why is her face an issue in your life? And this also goes with someone’s success, choice of lovers, love for fashion and whatever else. Why are we obsessed with what goes on in ano...

Decoded by Jay-Z  starts off a bit stale and for a while promises to not get better! Thank you to this site  for the image! But I’m a sucker for punishment and once  I've  started a book, I will finish it. I’m that cat curiosity killed. The book aesthetically looks amazing; it makes use of glossy paper, has beautiful art work on the cover in eye seducing black and gold (the one I bought. It's also available in a nasty white and gold).  The photographs inside are hypnotic and used well. Okay back to why we buy books; to read. To really enjoy this book, you have to like Jay-Z’s music! As in; be that fan that started with him at the beginning.  If you are a new fan, you must educate yourself on his old music. To really enjoy this book, you shouldn’t be interested in Jay-Z the business man and the details of how he went from the projects to Forbes list.  For all that information read his  unauthorized  biography by Zack O’Malley...

I believe growth is everything! Have you noticed how children aim to increase their worth? They crawl, they crawl faster, they realise that standing is possible, they discover they can use furniture to walk, then they start to risk walking without holding on. Once they walk and discover running… try catching them! So that’s how I’m feeling right now. I’m crawling… and it’s exciting! Every time someone I know tells me about any kind of growth in their life– my heart skips a beat in joy. Growing up has taught me that increasing your worth is not just about increasing the amount of money in your account or the material goodies you can afford. NO! I’m talking about knowledge, skills, starting new things, taking new directions…all of that. I’m talking about the kind of worth that no one can take away.   No one can take away your education   No one can take away the lessons you learn from starting a new project (it doesn't matter if it succeeds, it’s ...

Ventriloquist : “A performer who projects the voice into a wooden dummy”. Chester and Conrad are a bag of jokes a minute! Thanks to Market Theatre for the pic  Oh what a lovely show Conrad Koch , the man behind ChesterMissing , delivered. I was in stitches most of the night. The only other South African comedian who has a similar effect on me is Kagiso Lediga . For about an hour or so, Conrad kept us fully engaged with his three puppets and began with a bit of a stand up without a puppet. We live in a world where engaging with the audience is key and highly appreciated; Conrad did this well, without it seeming forced.  South African politics are tricky. At any given moment you can be counter-revolutionary if you are a black person or racist if you are white. Comedians are a special breed because they get away with saying the craziest, most insulting things about politicians or celebrities, and that person might end up laughing.  But I guess that’s th...

Fela This Bitch of a Life by Carlos Moore was magnetic. As I dived deeper into the Fela Kuti biography, each page and chapter revealed a figure with many layers. Fela was all human; very intelligent and spiritual, with flaws and all. I’d tread lightly in saying this book is an easy read. It’s written in Nigerian Pidgin ; that’s how Fela spoke and Carlos Moore opted to write this biography in first person.  This adds to the authentic feel of the story. It’s as though the writer, Moore, was saying; ‘here is Fela love him or hate him…this is him’! Much can be said about how Fela used music to challenge the Nigerian government. Much can also be said about why he is still relevant 16-years-after his death. And much can be said about how he lived among the poor and shared whatever wealth he had.  But I’d like to focus on Fela the hot blooded man! Firstly I’ll confess that pictures of Fela reveal a very handsome man, blessed with a beautiful body. Now that my lustful ...