TokisoM Writes

SBF Frank Talk: Dear Steve Biko : Thank you. Thank you for dedicating your life, short as it was, to standing firm for what you believed in. Because of you, I’m proud to ...

I’m an action and thriller type of girl. I love guns, blood and a whole lot of ass-whipping. So I get irritated when a movie promises all these things but gives me scene after scene of softness. Alex Cross features the king of soft, Tyler Perry BUT this is not one of his Madea movies – he didn't write or direct this flick. I was left bored and wishing I’d waited for it to get to DVD. I’ll be fair, this was his first action role and he performed….okay.  The movie starts with a not so fit Alex Cross (Perry) huffing and puffing after a criminal, gun in hand. He is wearing a long trench coat which tells you that Cross is a top cop. He is very fatherly in how he leads his team.  He has a family; a beautiful wife, two adorable children and his mother stays with them. And his mother is played by one of those grand-mothers from his Madea movies.  Anyway, somewhere past the soppy stuff, in comes the villain played by Matthew Fox. He is my favourite...

I’m an emotional creature; my moods dictate my activities for days and nights – when I’m not being paid. Most of the time, regardless of my mood – I’d rather be on my own.  That being said, I’m working on breaking this habit and forcing myself to “go out there” even when I’d rather lie on my bed and read a book. I was in such a horrid mood when I dragged myself to go watch Moliere’s The Miser at the Market Theatre recently.  To meet my moods half way I didn't invite a friend and so I was still alone but yet with people. The play, originally written when French monarchs ruled in 1668, is relevant to our times.  The main character, Harpagon, is a wealthy loan shark whose love for money is as powerful as his stingy ways. He has two children; daughter and son who don’t understand his way. Harpagon played by Lionel Newton    Pictures by:  Ruphin Coudyzer  They know that they are wealthy and that their father ...

Word n Sound Poetry and Music Series is a perfect example of “if you have an idea – run with it”. We've seen movements come and go but Word n Sound has proved its staying power.  The three minds behind WnS, Qhakaza Mbali Mthembu, Thabiso “Afurakan” Mohare and Mduduzi "Dj Duce" Mvemve have not only done their bit to keep the poetry scene in Johannesburg alive but they've made it interesting.  One member down and a couple of venues later the festival is celebrating its second year. New faces have braved the competitive space and the fight for the number one spot has been amazing to watch.  WnS has grown since its days of an audience of less than ten and the open-mic session was a painful experience. I had a short and sweet chat with Qhakaza; the rose among thorns and also called ‘mother’ by some artists. Planning WnS Festival 2013 was … interesting because since this is our second year there were things we thought ...

I love LeratoMogoatlhe . I love her because she doesn't just dream but she lives her dreams. And I love her for not just saying she is proudly African but for stepping out of her comfort zone to experience her continent. She inspires me. Image stolen from her Facebook page :-) When was the last time you journeyed our continent intensely? It was in 2010, and I was at it for 6 months. I was in East Africa; Rwanda, Uganda, Kenya, Tanzania. I didn't go to my other planned destinations which were; Ethiopia, Eritrea and Djibouti. I came back home because I ran out of steam and cash. What discouraged me the most was that when I wanted to go to Ethiopia, I could only get a visa if I flew to Nairobi. The only other ways to get the visa was if I was Kenyan, Eastern African or had a residential permit in East Africa. It’s really crushing when you want to go to a place and you are forced to take the privileged route when you don’t have the privilege. ...

He is that guy that everybody thinks is great and you are the evil in the relationship. If and when you tell your friends and family about his shenanigans they say, “but he is such a nice guy!” He has everybody wrapped around his little finger. He helps out at family gatherings, is a father to your child and remembers your parents birthdays…he is the nice guy. He will help you set up your best friends surprise party, talk soccer with your brothers and help your friends out when they are in a jam…he is the nice guy. When you are together, you look like a match made in heaven. At appearance level you guys can’t go wrong; he holds your hand in public…he is such a nice guy. He probably introduce you to his whole family, you go on shopping trips with his sister and share jokes with his brothers…he is such a nice guy. He doesn’t smoke and IF he drinks, it’s wine and he doesn’t get drunk. But what the world doesn’t know about Mr Nice guy is that when you are ...

I appreciate good music and have a soft spot for live performances. Anthony Hamilton ’s performance in Johannesburg, 16 August 2012, at the Ellis Park Indoor Arena , gave me goose bumps!  I've loved this man’s music for as long as I can remember and some of his hits are soundtracks to major relationship break downs and romantic moments. So when at the last minute I was invited to go to the concert I grabbed some tissues and gave myself a good talking too about crying in public and controlling the urge to call an ex (Yes his music does that to me). But when Anthony Hamilton and his band gave an explosive performance I ended up with new memories and forgot about the past.  The sold out venue was jam packed with well dressed Jozi folks ready for a good time. Anthony had grown men belting his tunes and raising their hands like we were in Church. The energy he had with his band on stage filled the whole arena. When they performed his hit song Pray For Me...

Being a woman is not easy. I’m not comparing it to being a man because I’m not a man and don’t really understand a man’s struggle. I’m simply saying that being a woman is not easy. I’ve always heard older women say it and maybe have said it before without really understanding it when I was younger. But right now, as I type this, and you read it – I feel the struggle that is being a woman, especially in the career aspect of my life. On my birthday the one person who knows me best, my mother, blessed me with this book: Nice Girls Don’t Get The CornerOffice 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers byLois P. Frankel, PhD . This book explained the anxiety that has been haunting me most of 2012. I’ve worked hard, taken on new tasks at work, took on courses and challenged my writing. But I couldn’t get rid of the feeling that I was doing something wrong or missing something. I tried to fill this feeling by working longer hours, spent less times w...

He lied and lied and lied and lied! I knew he was lying but I stayed. Blamed it on love and wasted emotions on a man not deserving. Ultimately God got me out of there without a child or a disease. But every now and then I look back and wonder why I stayed. I listen to stories now of abuse, betrayal, dishonesty, and wonder why they stay. Men and women of all shapes, sizes, education and race stay in bad unhealthy relationships for way too long. I know there was a lesson to be learnt which I think I’ve learnt but in the first year I should have waved goodbye and kept moving. But we go back. Is it fear? Is it their sweet tongues that lick the wounds? Is it a need for a return on investment? The whole idea of a relationship seems all so sweet. You meet, you love and you grow old together. (In an ideal world) I always heard of heartbreak as a kid and thought light of it. You sometimes go through a couple of relationships before you come across that one relationship tha...

Sometimes I wonder how life would have been if my absent father was a present one… Would I have a better understanding of gender roles in society? Would I trust men? Would I have more faith in people? Sometimes I wonder how I would have turned out if he cared… Would I be less hard on myself? Would I judge less? Would my hunger for a better life be less aggressive? Sometimes I wonder where I’d be if he helped financially... Would I have gone further with my studies? Would I have gone to a better high-school and gotten better opportunities? Would I view the world any different to what I do now? Sometimes I wonder what would happen if he called… Would my heart skip a beat at the sound of his voice? Would I call him ‘daddy’? Would I be happy? I've stopped wondering! I’ve accepted my reality; I just pray that should I have a child… They don’t wonder…

I believe in fairy tales because they afford me the opportunity to dream the impossible. Think of Cinderella, Snow White or Sleeping Beauty. All these stories had a happy ending regardless of how crazy the story line was.  Our world has become so twisted and crazy that it’s getting harder to keep positive. Petrol price in South Africa is making motorists stupid, unemployment is on the rise, companies are retrenching; atrocious crimes are on the rise and let’s not even talk about the wretched state of our political affairs. There is so much to complain about and so much to look at that proves that nothing is working out. But I still believe in happy endings. They happen every day in small moments; the giggle of a 9-month old baby or their attempt at walking. That BBM from a friend sending you love – just because they miss you, a shared joke with a sibling that leaves your tummy in pain. Flirting with the guy helping you at the till – it’s cute because you both know that it...

“I’m not one to judge other genres of music. Everybody must be given the space to do their thing. I don’t expect you to sing to Zabalaza at 4am at a party” – said Thandiswa Mazwai to an audience member when asked her thoughts about the current state of Kwaito. My admiration for Thandiswa grew at that very moment. She clearly has no higher than thou attitude about her music. I believe more people need to learn that kind of attitude. You may like your music, books, movies or whatever but don’t raise your nose at people with a different taste to yours. Do you and let others do themselves. This type of intimate session was the first of many hosted by Thandiswa’s younger sister Ntsiki Mazwai. Called Mama Said Sessions, they are hosted every last Sunday of the month at Roodepoort Theatre, West of Johannesburg. The sessions include dialogue with established artists, poetry, a live band and open mic. Ntsiki invited her sister and the legendary Dorothy Masuku. What an amazing...

“If you don’t like something change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude” – Maya Angelou. A profound quote by Maya Angelou; it’s one that speaks to me now in my life more than ever. The three part blog titled “ We live We learn ” was me trying to explore the uncomfortable feelings of life not going as planned.  Although one wants to play tough and act like we got things under control when in actual fact all sorts of emotions are boiling inside of us. A full day has, day and night – therefore a full human cycle has the good and bad. My biggest challenge is accepting that things don’t always go as planned - accepting the bad. I've always followed a plan and for a good part of my life that plan always worked out. But recently I see plans not becoming a reality – as and when I want them to be. I’m letting go. After reading an article in Essence magazine I was comforted in knowing that I’m not the only person who experiences a bit of a life frus...

The art of frustration! Yeah I’m still trying to understand these undesirable emotions that are present in our lives…okay let me say my life. I’d really like to convince myself until I believe it that I’m the most positive person I know but life has a funny way of testing titles we place on our selves. The year began and I had beautiful quotes about the “positivity of life” dripping from my tongue. This was the status quo until it was put to the test; from family to work to friendships…everything. I was hit and probably still hit by a hurricane: rough times of note. My life boat rocked so hard waking up in the morning was damn near impossible. Going to work and performing felt like punishment from the devil himself. Living was hard labour. It’s during these times you notice that you are putting in so much into everything but the returns are not adding up. But Winston Churchill said it well, “If you are going through hell; keep going”. I’m not going to give you the ‘So...

The art of forgiveness! That’s what I think it is. In theory it sounds so easy to do. People go around sounding sophisticated saying things like “Forgive and you will feel lighter.” So for a while I tried that sophisticated stuff saying I’d forgiven Person who had caused me pain. Well that’s until I hear Person is going through some form of hardship. Sophistication was thrown out the window and I did a dance at their pain. “SUFFER!!” I said.  But when the high from sweet revenge left my system and reality sobered me up I realised that I was no where near that place called Forgive-ville. Instead I was still having dinner at Angry-ville. I was and still am an angry woman. You can’t claim to have forgiven someone when you are ready to throw a party just because Person has come across some form of sting. I’m all for letting go and forgiving but doing it…is something else.  So how does one do it? Forgive. I mean really forgive to a point where if you were t...

I love driving. Any opportunity to learn new skills about holding my own behind the wheel I grab. FORD yet again invited a bunch of crazy curious journalists on their Driving Skills for Life course. It was a full day of activity but also some pointers that I was not aware of. I learnt:            The quicker I get to the highest gear possible the more fuel I save. From second gear to third gear you use 31% less fuel. From third gear to fourth gear you use 15% less fuel and from fourth to fifth you are at 17% less. Basically by the time you reach 50km/h you should be on 5 th gear.          Drive relaxed by anticipating traffic situations. When I leave the house I check out Pig Spotters tweets, Traffic SA’s tweets and listen to traffic reports on the radio. But I’m always expecting traffic after the Malibongwe bridge heading north on the N1. That part of the high-way has been bewitched long time ago.   ...